Detach to Thrive: Letting Go of Ego and Outcome in the Creative Process

Francois Coetzee
9 min readNov 21, 2024

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Creativity, at its best, is an act of freedom — a pure expression of ideas, thoughts, and emotions. While creativity often seems like effortless inspiration, the reality is that it involves challenges, setbacks, and continuous growth. However, this creative freedom is usually hindered by the pressures of ego, the need for validation, and the fear of failure. Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic Roman Emperor, frequently reminded himself not to be swayed by pride, praise, or fear, advocating for humility and detachment from ego. By letting go of the need to please others and the obsession with outcomes, we unlock the ability to create more authentically and openly. For creative thinkers, detaching from ego and outcome means embracing humility, focusing on the process, and allowing ourselves to explore without constraints.

Detachment is not about indifference; rather, it is about finding balance. When we detach from our ego and the pressure to achieve a specific outcome, we begin to enjoy the creative process for what it is — an opportunity to explore, experiment, and express our authentic selves. It is easy to get lost in the pursuit of praise or to become paralysed by the fear of failure, but by learning to detach, we give ourselves permission to create freely and fearlessly. This mindset is crucial for the quality of our work and our well-being as creatives. Embracing detachment can cultivate resilience, curiosity, and a deeper connection with our craft.

The ego can be both a driving force and an obstacle in creative work. On the one hand, our desire to be seen, recognised, and received praise can push us to achieve great things. On the other hand, this same desire can trap us — making us more concerned with how our work is perceived than with the joy of creation itself. When we become attached to our ego, we place undue pressure on ourselves to create something that others will admire, celebrate, and validate.

This attachment to the outcome often results in creative paralysis. We hesitate to take risks, fearing our work will not be “good enough.” We become afraid to experiment, as experimentation risks failure and criticism. The need for external validation stifles our ability to innovate and prevents us from venturing into uncharted territory. Creativity, which should be a playful exploration, turns into a cautious pursuit of perfection driven by the fear of judgment.

In his ‘Meditations,’ Marcus Aurelius wrote about the importance of staying humble and focusing on what we can control — our thoughts, actions, and intentions. He wrote, “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” This quote underscores the value of focusing inward and maintaining humility, which is crucial for creative thinkers. He reminded himself not to let pride or the fear of failure dictate his behaviour. For creatives, this Stoic wisdom is invaluable. By detaching from our ego and the outcome, we create space for true creativity to emerge — creativity that is not driven by the need to impress but by the desire to express.

When we learn to let go of our ego, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is at the core of creativity. Vulnerability enables us to take risks, share our true selves, and connect with others on a deeper level. It means showing up with our imperfections and embracing the unknown, where the most authentic and impactful creative work often lies. Detaching from the ego is not about diminishing our passion or ambition; it is about understanding that our worth as creatives is not defined by external validation but by our dedication to the process.

Detaching from the outcome does not mean we stop caring about our work. Rather, it means that we shift our focus from the external rewards — praise, recognition, or success — to the intrinsic value of the creative process itself. When we create for the sake of creating, we reconnect with the joy and curiosity that originally drew us to our craft. We allow ourselves to experiment, play, and take risks without worrying about the end result.

Consider the work of Vincent van Gogh. Despite facing rejection and a lack of recognition during his lifetime — such as when his work was dismissed by galleries and critics and he only managed to sell a single painting — van Gogh remained dedicated to his art. He painted because he loved to paint, not because he sought validation. His ability to detach from the outcome allowed him to explore his unique style and create works that would later become some of the most celebrated pieces in art history. Van Gogh’s legacy is a powerful reminder that the value of creative work is not always immediately apparent and that true fulfilment comes from creating, not from the external accolades it might bring.

By embracing the joy of creation, we also become more resilient in the face of setbacks. When our motivation is intrinsic, we are less likely to be discouraged by criticism or failure. These setbacks are part of the creative journey — opportunities to learn, grow, and refine our craft. This resilience is essential for any creative thinker, as it allows us to keep moving forward, even when the path is uncertain.

Embracing the joy of creation also means reconnecting with the sense of wonder that comes with making something new. When we detach from the outcome, we give ourselves the freedom to be curious, experiment, and explore possibilities without the constraints of expectations. This playful approach can lead to unexpected breakthroughs and moments of inspiration that are only possible when we fully engage in the creative process.

Humility is a crucial component of detaching from ego and outcome. It allows us to remain open to new ideas, to seek feedback, and to learn from others. When we approach our creative work humbly, we recognise that we do not have all the answers and that there is always room for growth. This openness makes us better collaborators, as we are willing to listen to others’ perspectives and incorporate their insights into our work.

Humility also helps us manage criticism in a healthy way. Instead of viewing criticism as a personal attack, we see it as an opportunity to improve. By detaching from our ego, we can objectively assess feedback, decide what is valuable, and use it to enhance our work. This willingness to learn and grow ultimately leads to mastery in any creative field.

Take the example of Steve Jobs, who, despite his well-known confidence, often sought feedback and collaboration from his team at Apple. For instance, during the development of the original iPhone, Jobs encouraged open discussions and actively sought input from his engineers, which led to several key innovations that shaped the final product. Jobs understood the importance of surrounding himself with talented individuals and listening to their input. By detaching from his ego and focusing on the collective creative process, Jobs led his team to create products that changed the world.

Humility also means acknowledging that our work is part of a larger conversation. When we let go of the idea that our creative output must be perfect or complete, we become more receptive to the contributions of others. This collaborative mindset allows us to build on each other’s ideas, innovate together, and create something greater than what we could achieve alone. Humility fosters a sense of community among creatives, encouraging us to share, learn, and grow together.

One of the greatest barriers to creativity is the fear of failure. This fear often stems from our attachment to outcomes — our desire for our work to be successful, admired, or perfect. However, failure is an inevitable part of the creative process. Every creative thinker, from writers to inventors to artists, has experienced failure. What sets successful creatives apart is their ability to embrace failure, learn from it, and keep creating.

By detaching from the outcome, we can reframe failure as a valuable learning experience rather than a reflection of our worth. Thomas Edison, for example, famously failed thousands of times before successfully inventing the light bulb. Edison’s persistence and ability to detach from these failures allowed him to treat each setback as a learning opportunity, ultimately leading to his success. His resilience exemplified how detachment from fear and ego can fuel innovation and creativity. Edison did not see these failures as setbacks but as steps toward success. His detachment from the fear of failure allowed him to persist, to experiment, and ultimately to innovate.

When we let go of the fear of failure, we allow ourselves to take risks and explore new ideas without the pressure of needing everything to be perfect. This freedom is where true creativity thrives. We become more willing to try new techniques, push boundaries, and venture into the unknown. The most groundbreaking creative work often comes from those unafraid to fail, who see failure not as an endpoint but as a necessary part of the journey.

Letting go of the fear of failure also means embracing the imperfections in our work. Perfection is often an unrealistic expectation that prevents us from sharing our ideas. By accepting that our work will never be flawless, we become more willing to put it into the world, receive feedback, and grow from the experience. This willingness to share, even when our work feels imperfect, allows us to connect with others and make an impact.

Practical Strategies for Detaching from Ego and Outcome

1. Focus on the Process: Shift your focus from the end result to the creation process. Set goals centring around creating — such as dedicating a certain amount of time each day to your craft — rather than the outcome. By focusing on the process, you can find fulfilment in creating, regardless of the result.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for detaching from ego and outcome. By staying present in the moment, you can fully engage with your creative work without worrying about how it will be received. Mindfulness helps you appreciate the process, notice the details, and find joy in the act of creation.

3. Seek Feedback with an Open Mind: Approach feedback as an opportunity to learn rather than as a judgment of your worth. Detach from your ego and listen to others’ perspectives with an open mind. Use their insights to refine your work and grow as a creative thinker.

4. Set Internal Metrics for Success: Instead of relying on external validation, set internal metrics for success. Define what success means — learning a new skill, exploring a new idea, or simply enjoying the creative process. By setting your own standards, you can detach from the need for external approval and find satisfaction in your progress.

5. Embrace Failure as Part of the Journey: Remind yourself that failure is an inevitable part of the creative process. Each failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. Detach from the fear of failure and see it as a stepping stone on the path to success. The more you embrace failure, the more willing you will be to take risks and push your creative boundaries.

6. Celebrate Small Wins: Take the time to celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Acknowledging and celebrating small wins helps you stay motivated and focused on the creative journey rather than the final outcome. This practice reinforces the idea that growth and progress are more important than external validation.

Detaching from ego and outcome is a powerful way to unlock your creative potential. By letting go of the need for validation, the fear of failure, and the pressure to be perfect, you create space for true creativity to flourish. Marcus Aurelius’s teachings on humility and detachment remind us that the value of our work lies not in how it is perceived by others but in the intention, effort, and joy that we bring to the creative process.

When we detach from ego, we become more open to learning, collaboration, and growth. We allow ourselves to experiment, take risks, and create without fear. By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, we reconnect with the intrinsic joy of creation — the reason we started creating in the first place. Let go of the need to control how your work will be received and instead embrace the freedom to create boldly, authentically, and without limits.

Ultimately, the most impactful creative work comes not from those who seek validation but from those who create with passion, humility, and a genuine love for the craft. Detach, create, and thrive — let go of ego, let go of outcomes, and let your creativity soar.

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Francois Coetzee
Francois Coetzee

Written by Francois Coetzee

Francois Coetzee is a creative thinker, NLP trainer and coach, and lives for creating possibility. Connect with him on LinkedIn https://bit.ly/3hEmVAn

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