Living with Purpose: Putting Yourself First
Being non-religious and preferring to refer to myself as spiritual when placed on the spot, it is profoundly interesting that one of the meditations that I find most solace and hope within is the Buddhist Lovingkindness Meditation.
Early on, I knew that a single form of meditative practice was not going to work for me, and in my search for something that would suit my view of the world, I found the lovingkindness meditation originally from an interpretation of the Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield.
It is a meditation in three parts, each of which we repeat twice or more, allowing for moments of inner reflection. I am sharing a personal interpretation that strays from the Jack Kornfield version somewhat, but I present it here the words as it developed and grown for me over the years.
Part 1:
May I be filled with lovingkindness,
May I be well, in body and heart and mind and soul,
May I be safe from inner and outer danger,
May I be happy, truly happy, and free.
(Reflect for a few moments and repeat)
Part 2:
May my loved ones be filled with lovingkindness,
May my loved ones be well, in body and heart and mind and soul,
May my loved ones be safe from inner and outer danger,
May my loved ones be happy, truly happy, and free.
(Reflect for a few moments and repeat)
Part 3:
May all beings be filled with lovingkindness,
May all beings be well, in body and heart and mind and soul,
May all beings be safe from inner and outer danger,
May my loved ones be happy, truly happy, and free.
(Reflect for a few moments and repeat)
I refer to this meditation not to convert anyone to Buddhist practice but to highlight what struck me about its structure.
It starts with the self, and only then it considers those close to you and finally everyone else.
To some, this practice of starting with self may appear selfish, but I would like to offer another interpretation: If I am strong for myself, I can be strong for those I love. And together, we can be strong for the world.
There is a compelling example supporting this: Most of us have not had much opportunity to travel in recent times but may remember the last safety briefing we listened to on a flight to an exciting destination.
And in there somewhere, there would have been words with the following message:
“ Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and listen for instructions from the cabin crew. Oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat. Place the mask over your mouth and nose like this. Pull the strap to tighten it. If you are travelling with children, make sure that your mask is on first before helping your children.”
In a world of living with and conforming to other’s expectations, it may be a difficult concept to grasp for some. As a result, they may see it as selfish or inconsiderate to regard self before others!
This safety briefing above, is a practical illustration of how our urge to help others first may endanger them and us. But, conversely, by taking care of ourselves first, we empower ourselves to be able to help others. We are in a better condition and state to help others when we are healthy, strong and able.
So, how do we use this return to self before others in living with our purpose?
You may already have a defined purpose or in the process of discovery. See more here …
Your purpose is who you wish to be and what you can give back to the world. It starts with self first and then what you could offer to the world from being your best self.
By becoming the best version of you, congruent with your purpose, you become the most potent force for those closest to you and the world. No purpose built on the wishes and expectations of others will ever satisfy.
Let me share a simple practice you can adopt whenever an opportunity, a request for help, or a compelling trigger arises. It is to check in with your purpose: Whatever occurs, ask the question: “ How will this support my purpose?”
By checking in with your purpose, you are checking in with your most authentic self!
And in that answer, you will find either resonance or dissonance. If it resonates with your purpose, go with it. If there is dissonance, it is something that will lead you astray, or at the very least, slow your progress and growth towards your purpose.
Go forth and change the world! But start with your self first and authentically live your purpose!
